Now's about the time in new mama hood where the exhaustion starts to set in, the frustrations of breastfeeding not going 100% as smoothly as you had hoped, the cabin fever, and the long days of parenting alone start to wear on you. As much as I am enjoying the sweetness of having a newborn, it's hard. Hard on my body, hard on mind and hard on my heart. This little being needs me in every sense of the word. I am essentially sustaining her- without me, there is no her and the magnitude of responsibility that lies in that statement is overwhelming. Is she spitting up too much? Is her breathing okay? She did something weird with her eyes, is that normal? The constant questioning and worrying at this stage is tiresome. Each night my prayers seem like a broken record- God, please keep her safe. Over and over and over and over again. When your heart loves this much, you feel consumed by every breath she makes. This time is so precious, I do not want it to pass, yet I want the newborn worries and fears to pass as I become more confident in my role as mama. We're good together, Ruthie and I and it's nice to know we're in this together.
photo - coffee in bed is essential these days.