April 5, 2013

The thing about this whole parenthood gig is that you can never dream of how the love you have for your child will feel until you have a child.  I imagined I would love our daughter to the moon and back when I was pregnant but the thing is, the moon and back doesn't seem to even touch the surface of how deep and wide my love for her is.  Don't you love that? "A deep and wide love." My aunt said that to me yesterday about the love we have for our children and I wanted to share a little bit of her story with you here.  This aunt of mine is something amazing. A mama to five, I've always known, even at a very young age how good of a mother she was to her children. And today, my heart is breaking for her and her family-  my little cousin, her sweet 16 year old is sick. 

I posted a photo on instagram yesterday asking if seeing your kids in pain ever gets easier? My baby girl got four shots and it just tore me up. I thought surely this must get easier as she gets older but then I thought, why would that be? Seeing your child in pain will never get easier- maybe even harder. My wise and amazing aunt said these words to me: "No darling it doesn't get easier. We mamas spend many sleepless nights on our knees. But then what would life be like never having known just how deep and wide our love is for our babes? You see the thing is my dearest Lou, (she calls me Lou) your shoulders are strong. You will carry this baby and her heartaches and struggles so that she may become all she is created to be."

And then I sobbed. She's living the words she is teaching me. She watches her baby suffer every single day- she knows the strength of her love and it amazes me. I could not agree more- what would our life be like never having known how deep and wide our love is for our babies? It would be nothing. 

I want to use this space to create some awareness about the devastating affects Lyme Disease has on a persons body. We don't know exactly when my cousin became infected but we do know she's been suffering for several years never knowing what the problem was. She was diagnosed with abdominal migraines at one point and a few other things at other points. She was finally diagnosed with Lyme after my aunt, with her determined mama heart, figured it out. It's a sickness not many people know about and is one that is not recognized by most insurance companies. Emotionally, physically and financially it is devastating. My sweet little cousin can't go to school because of the pain she's in, can't make plans ahead of time because she doesn't know how she'll feel and is prisoner to the medicine she takes on a daily basis. Please pray for my family, friends. That they continue to find strength, courage and healing. 


  1. Wow, thanks for sharing. I love what your aunt said to you. :)

    Also, so sorry to hear about your cousin. :( That has got to be so tough. I'm saying a prayer for her.

  2. Lindsey, I have two cousins in Michigan who both suffered with Lymes disease. This was a decade ago, but they both ended up going to Canada for some experimental treatment that involved treating their blood. I'm not sure what it was, but they both recovered and have gone on to have babies and live normal lives. (they were in their 20s when they got the disease.) When my parents get back from Costa Rica I'll ask and see if I can find out more for you. So sorry to hear about your cousin - I do remember it really isn't a well understood disease.

    1. wow. it is a disease that is not understood at all. often my cousin is forced to go through tests they we know darn well have nothing to do with the disease but doctors don't know what else to do. That's encouraging that your family has overcome the disease. Thanks for sharing!

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