It seems like I just wrote a post like this one yet here I am again writing out my thoughts about us as a people desperately needing to find goodness and happiness in our hearts. There's too much hate, there's too much pain, there's too much evil, there's too much loss and quiet frankly I don't know how long these types of senseless, selfish, heartbreaking crimes can continue without causing us total self destruction. Yesterday I turned the news coverage on while my baby girl lay next to me smiling and kicking under her play gym, happy and innocent as can be, and it just crushed me. These sorts of horrific acts have always left me feeling desperate for change and a weight heavy on my heart but this time was different for me. I have a child now- a child who was brought into a world where no matter how I might try, I can't protect her from. This world is not nice and her innocence will not last long and that thought breaks my heart into a billion pieces. We try every day to be kind, generous, empathetic people and as much as we hope to instill these same values in Ruthie, she will still be exposed to the horrors and reality of the society we live in. I just can not understand why it is so hard for people to do the right thing- I really can't. What angers me the most is that I know I will be writing another post just like this one in another few months and all there is to do in the meantime is try to live normally and happily.
The power of prayer is strong and maybe, just maybe if we are all able to find hope in something, anything, no matter who your God may be or if you believe in no God at all we have to find the beauty and hope. And so I pray. I pray for goodness and change. I pray that the ones who are in pain find a way to deal with their pain in a way that does not hurt others. I pray that those who struggle making moral choices are able to feel a lightness in their hearts and see the difference between right and wrong and I pray like heck for our kids. That one day they will live in a world where pain is not all around and their innocence really can last beyond just a few years, because really, what else is there to do?