DEAR RUTHIE

May 14, 2013

My little love bug. I have so much I want to say to you in this moment it's almost too hard to find the right words. Let me first just say, gosh you're fun. Your wide mouth grins are without a doubt my most favorite thing on the entire planet. You smile these huge enormous smiles as soon as you see my face for the first time in the morning and it just melts me into a puddle of mush. 

You're so happy. The first thing you do each day is smile. I adore how happy your spirit is and hope that it sticks with you as you grow. This happiness that you feel now, it will change and evolve but I hope you always have happiness in your heart. Even when you have a skinned knee or a broken heart, or don't feel like you fit in, I hope you are still a happy spirit and have the ability to know you are so loved. I read a quote just the other day that said, "you are only as happy as your saddest child" and I couldn't stop thinking about it and how I'm sure this must be true. When you cry your sad little baby cries my heart breaks even though I know you are okay and just need an extra snuggle or to be nursed, or need to take a rest. 

When I took motherhood on, I took on all the burdens you will face throughout your life and if I could, I would carry them all for you. I hope you know that. I hope you will grow up knowing that you have a mom and dad who love you unconditionally and who will support, encourage and nurture you no matter what path you might choose. I love you so, so much Ruthie girl. It almost hurts, this love I have for you. You keep on smiling for mama but more importantly, you keep on smiling for you.

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