BACK TO SCHOOL

August 26, 2013

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Happy Monday, friends! Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. Ours was chalk full of home projects, seeing family and getting ready for the upcoming teaching year. I can not believe that it's time for me to go back to the classroom in just a weeks time. I remember when Ruthie came into this world thinking, gosh I have so much time until I'll be going back to work and now, here we are, almost seven months later. How did this happen!? Yesterday was open house night at our school and it was nice to see returning families, meet new ones and talk with co workers. Most all of my co workers are mothers's themselves so the first question I got was, "how are you feeling about coming back?" The honest answer is not that good. As much as I enjoy teaching and the kids I get to work with each day, being away from Ruthie (even though it's only two days a week) is not something I'm looking forward to. At all. It's hard to feel justified in saying I don't want to go back- it's two days, my mom and mother in law are the ones watching Ruthie while I'm working and in total it's 12 hours a week. Ruthie will be with two of the people I trust most and two people who love her so, so much. It is the most ideal situation, yet I'm still left with a knot in my stomach when I think about leaving her that first morning (and every other morning after that.) The thing is, I just love hanging out with her so much and don't want to give up even 12 hours a week with her. There's also all those little silly things only a mama could know about their baby. Like how when you lay her down for a nap she likes to be turned onto her left side with a blankie touching her cheek in just one certain way. Or how when she's drifting to sleep she likes a combination of swaying and bouncing in a half cradle half upright position. Or which tiny bottle she prefers for a few sips of water each day and which toys are the ones that will for sure put a smile on her face and how I'm able to decipher each grunt, giggle, cry and sigh like text book. And the nursing- oh the sweet sweet nursing. You know, all those types of things. Ugh.

I know this is an extremely common feeling for new moms and I'm sure it will get better as we all get into the swing of our new routine, but dang, why is this so hard? Any tips?

14 COMMENTS:

  1. Best of LucK! the first step out the door and the ride home are the hardest. I felt the exact same way when leaving bird with other caregivers (ahem also grandparents), but turns out, in the long run, it actually was to her benefit. She's so comfortable with all of them and they have formed their own tricks of the trade on how to soothe and get her to sleep. While i agree, mama's always know best, sometimes having the little one learn a new way of doing something comes in handy. While I'd give anything to work 12 vs 30 hours outside the home, don't feel guilty if you end up enjoying 12 hours outside your babe. Best of luck and heck, you are never stuck if you decide being with Ru FT is a better fit. I'll be thinking of you.

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    1. Thank you! I am glad she will get to spend a couple days with her grandma's and of course I know they'll figure it out. I don't think i'll feel guilty if I start to enjoy leaving for work (but I don't see that happening since I go to a classroom full of 3-6 year olds, meaning it's not like i'm getting away for some adult time) And yes so true. I am not stuck. Nick and I are both confident this will be my last year :) I can so do it! (that's what I keep telling myself anyways :)

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  2. I think its a natural momma feeling! 12 hours sounds like a perfect amount. I think it will get easier. My kids are older 4 and 6 and I'd be comfortable leaving them with trusted friend or family member 3 times a week.

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    1. Thanks Julia! 12 hours is a great amount for sure. I know it will be good, just anxious about actually doing it :)

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  3. I know how you feel. I went back to work when my little was 4 months old. The first days was the hardest. We make the good-byes quick, one hug and a kiss and I'm out the door. I get everything ready the night before so I can spend more time with baby. My husband watches him which helps them bond. As soon as I get home, he hand me baby and he's all mine for the rest of the day. He also takes pictures during the day and sends them to me. It is hard, anyone who says different is being silly. Seeing the smile on baby's face when I get home makes it all worth it. Good luck!

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    1. Thanks, Jessica! That's so great that your husband is the one who gets to stay with your baby! And thanks for understanding :)

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  4. It may be hard to imagine - being away for those 12 hours each week will actually make your appreciation for each other grow stronger. The smile on Ruthie's face when you return from your first day back will be worth it. I hear ya on the "knowing your child like a textbook" but trust the Grandma's will learn those cute little habits as well... but always remember Ruthie knows you, and there is no one like mama. :) Good Luck Linds! You have a true talent as a teacher and a mother; those other children are lucky to have you each week for 12 hours.

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    1. You are so sweet Amanda. Your comment is truly so appreciated. I'll be looking forward to that welcome home smile like you can't believe :)

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  5. I went back to school (I'm a school counselor) a month ago and I am still mourning my time with my little 10-month old every day. Today I snuck away during lunch to visit him in daycare. I am not supposed to because the teachers don't have time to, so I shouldn't, but I just couldn't help myself. I work the full 40+ and I'm starting to wonder if I can keep going. I miss him so much! Keep going! :-)

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    1. You are a strong mama! I couldn't be away full time (of course If i had to, I would) but gosh, how strong you are for being able to go to work everyday, provide for your family and mother when you get home. Seriously. It amazes me to know full time working moms. That's like an entirely other type of (super)woman :)

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  6. I had to come back to work 10 weeks postpartum (and I thought that was a good amount of time! So sad, maternity leave in America). Even though my son is home with his dad it was still very hard for me. My only tip for getting thru it is to stay positive and be grateful for the time you do have with your baby. As much as I wanted to cry, walking out the door on the first day, I thought about being a good role model, being strong, doing what I have to do with a smile on my face. I also started a gratitude journal so that I could focus on all the blessings in my life, rather than dwell on the negative, such as how lucky I am to have a great employer who is flexible with my schedule, how grateful I am for breastfeeding and the opportunity it gives me to cuddle my baby, how much I ended up loving our new morning routine, etc... And, of course, going to work just got easier with time. Best of luck to you

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