January 8, 2014

My Ruthie. This is your eleventh month and we can hardly believe your first year is coming to an end. Every day you amaze us with the way you explore new things, learn new tricks and smile that smile that melts our hearts every. single. time. Your newest tricks are smiling a fake smile when we say, smiiiile and laying your head down and saying "awwwwwww" when we tell you to 'snuggle.' As you might imagine, the cuteness level is through the roof. You are turning into a little stinker too. You are just starting to understand what you are and are not allowed to get into which comes along with the way in which you've just learned to test me. It's cute because your little but my dear, lets not take it too far, deal? You just got over your first ever fever and it was hard on us all. Seeing you sick has definitely moved to the top slot of things I hate. You are on the mend now and it makes us so happy that you have bounced back so quickly. I wonder if this is how you will encounter all the lows you'll face in life? It's a hard couple of days but you grit your teeth through it and come out stronger, quickly in the end? It seems so.  You are also in the phase now of wanting to be in mama's arms, lap, presence all the day long. It's hard for me sometimes, but I do love it. It's hard for me to let go of other things I'd like to be doing or getting done but I keep reminding myself that you want me so much right now because you need me. Your constant attachment to me will not last long and when it's over I'll mourn the days of you and I constantly in contact.

I've just begun to think about your first birthday. I haven't quiet figured out how I feel about it yet. I'm super excited for you- that you are having so much fun as you grow and that things will just keep getting more and more fun for you as you master more skills. I'm happy for your papa and I too - that we have (almost) made it a year together as parents. I'm happy for all of us - that our love continues to grow stronger and deeper with each passing day. I'm so sad though too. Sad that time with you goes by so quickly. I've blinked my eyes and a year has passed. I'll save more of my thoughts on all of this for your actual birthday letter.

I just love you so much, baby girl. Here's to our last month together of you as a baby. My heart bursts for you.


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