June 19, 2014

The thing about mothering for me is that it just never ceases to amaze me. Not even in the extraordinary way - mostly in the ordinary. Like how my child clings to my leg when we first arrive at the playground or how she comes over for a quick hug and recharge before venturing back out in the yard. Somehow I am the one thing that makes her feel safe, protected, loved. It's an overwhelming feeling - to know that I am all my child needs right now. One day way sooner than I'd like, these simple gestures will be a thing of the past and my hope is that she'll face the word confidently because when she was little, mama was there. 

It gets hard though too, day after day doing the same ordinary things over and over again. A good and tiresome kind of hard. I cherish these days I spend at home with my daughter so, so much and would not change them for anything in this world, but sometimes it feels like just maybe I'm not doing enough. For her, yes. But what about my husband? I spend my entire day making sure my daughter's every needs are met- that between making meals, wiping hands, changing diapers, tying shoes, I also want to make sure her days are filled with games of hide and seek and dance parties in the kitchen and piggy back rides. I'm here for my child's every need, I pray that I am still here for my husband's. By the time Nick gets home from work, I'm tired. He's tired. Thankfully, somehow, Nick and I have a wonderful relationship - something I thank God for everyday. Despite the fact that we both want to collapse at 7pm, I think ( I hope ) we still do a pretty good job of connecting with one another. We try to talk about things other than Ruthie after she's gone to bed. We like to dream and plan and daydream and adventure. 

And that's one thing I've learned as a mother. To be a good one, I need to work extra hard at being a good wife and partner. 


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