August 3, 2016

If you follow me over on Instagram (@ourcityhouse) you know it's been a tough 6 months for me adjusting to life with two babes. When I had Ruthie 3 1/2 years ago I remember feeling somewhat guilty when talking with other new moms about how easy I eased into motherhood. Ru was an easy babe, I had no one else to care for except her and I was just on cloud 9 being a mother. While I'm still pretty much on cloud 9 over being a mama, my sweet little Wren is a much different baby. I had a lot of expectations of what she would be like as a second child. Laid back, easy going, super easy. What choice would I have? I'd be so busy with a 3 year old she would just have to be! I thought. Her very first night of life earthside she demanded to be in my arms to sleep. You know those plastic bassinets they want your baby to sleep in in the hospital? She was not having any of it. Literally the second you laid her down in there she cried. It's actually quiet reassuring to me knowing I haven't trained her to sleep so poorly. She just is the way she is and always has been. But let me tell you, to have a baby who sleeps terribly and another child to care for is HARD. The hardest thing I've ever done. Right now she takes around 4 naps a day because they are all only about 30 minutes long and wakes up usually between 4 and 8 times each night. (We've tried all the sleep training methods. Nothing works) And I. AM. TIRED. I have been carrying a lot of guilt about how much time Ru is forced to spend playing by herself or watching TV so I can keep trying to get the baby down for naps. I know this will all be over soon because really, where does the time go? But you know when you're in the trenches and you can't imagine ever climbing out? That is where I'm at right now. Getting out of the house helps and so after Wren takes a morning nap (which is the easiest one to get her down for, but still will only last maybe 40 minutes) I usually load them up and we go to the park or run errands or whatever. Just something to get us out. The rest of the day is a crap shoot whether or not Wreny will nap and she usually just ends up overtired because I cannot spend every hour trying to get her to sleep. Another thing I feel so guilty about.

I know I will miss her gummy kisses and soft, sweet cheeks and her huge smile every time we make eye contact and her baby laugh and coo's, (because my gosh, she is so damn sweet) BUT, I really am ready for us all to get out of this season - to be able to go out with my girlfriends (because what do you know, she refuses a bottle) and to be able to sleep more than an hour or two at a time. One day, right?

So here's to the other mama's struggling to survive. Just like me, I know you love your babies so damn much it hurts, but I also know you'd love a break. I'm here with you. We're doing it. And we should be proud.


  1. Hi Lindsay,

    I love your honest post. I recognize it so well. My first baby was also easy and I was so much enjoying motherhood. But with my second, who came 21 months later, it was so much more difficult to adjust. She also would not sleep longer than 45 minutes and was so overtired she could only cry. It was so damn hard, I hear you!
    You seem to me like a really sweet mother and doing everything she can! You're doing it right. x Floor

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