September 4, 2014

Last Sunday I turned 30. I remember when I was in my early 20's thinking 30 seemed so old. I'm sure that's how it will be when I turn 40 too - I'll say, 'gosh remember when I was 30 and 40 seemed so old?' I don't know, I guess aging is just that way. You have this idea of what a certain number will feel like, and then you get there and it doesn't feel different, or odd or old at all. You just feel like you still.  Whether I feel different or not is not really the point. The point is that 30 does mean something, at least to me it does. My 20's, although I was never a wild one, were about finding my rhythm and figuring out who I wanted to be. I lived in Chicago, Los Angeles and New York City, married at 25, bought our first house at 26 and became a mother at 28. So much happened in those years of figuring out, learning, exploring and understanding who I am more. I am grateful that I had all that time to really, truly explore - other cities, other countries, and myself. 

Now here I am. 30, a wife, a mother, a small business owner. I've never felt more full or sure of myself and I think it's because I allowed myself most of my 20's to figure it out. Some of those years were hard. Really hard. But when I reflect on how I lived for that decade, I am proud of myself. Sometimes I needed a lot of help and other times I pushed through and conquered on my own. 

I didn't think this would be a post about motherhood but when you are a mother, almost everything is about you in that role (at least for me it is,) and as I think about being 30 and the years that follow, I feel content (which is a rare feeling for me.) I'm not anxious or worried or scared because as i've grown, life has gotten better and better. Aging is something i've come to love because now it means I get to watch my children grow too. 

I do not have any specific goals this coming year except to continue to grow. In all those roles I fill - a wife, a mother, a small business owner. I want to be intentional in my relationships - more attentive to my husband, less distracted with my daughter and to push myself creatively in the work that I do. 

I've been in my 30's now for 4 days and I have to say, 30 is pretty dang sweet :)


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